Half Time Check-In

Hard to believe it's already been three months in LA! - (and people still catch me uttering those "owts" and "abowts") - that's what you get for growing up in the Ottawa valley. My apologies for the long hiatus - I have been busy trying to make it before the big end of June gong goes off (and our visa runs out).

Well thank God the Olympics are over and I can stop sobbing already. How strange to watch the normally dreary and rain drenched glassy streets of downtown Vancouver come alive with so many thousands of enthusiastic, patriotic and - dare I say - drunk (with pride of course) sports fans. Where did they all come from!? Surrey and Richmond I would guess - maybe even the Fraser Valley? In any case, these joyous suburban revelers made we Vancouverites look like we are some very keen folk. Before I left, the only enthusiasm I heard from anyone was - "Can't wait until it's over". Everyone was dreading the traffic, the road closures, the sheer mad inconvenience. But in came the world and following them closely, the hoser partyers! Damn we know how to drink our beer and throw a party.

Anyway, we missed it all. But not really. At least we got to watch Vancouver TV through Gary's Sling Box - so we could hear the constant gushing of the CTV crew. Much better than the gushing of the NBC casters about good old team USA.

Campbell was here when the BIG GAME happened and we found ourselves in an Irish Pub in Santa Monica, full of flag waving fans on one side - and about a dozen expat Canadians on the other. When the US scored that tying goal the place erupted. They actually ran into our side waving their flags and hollering. Then, when we scored that glorious overtime goal, the place went dead quiet - except for the dozen yelps of glee from our quarters. The place emptied out in a minute.

But the Americans were gracious. Campbell was wearing his official Olympic T and everyone kept honking and congratulating us. Several folks said stuff like - "Hey it's your game, you deserved to win, how perfect for Canada" etc. etc. So yes, Americans can be gracious too - but they can learn a few things about partying from us.

So my quest to work in the US of A is coming closer to true possibility. I have been busy soliciting letters from my influential friends to help me prove to the MAN (the scary guys who man the 49th parallel) that I am an artist of "extraordinary ability". Only the extraordinary aliens get to live and work in the land of the free and home of the brave. These letters, along with a mountain of paperwork my lawyer is preparing - may just get me the ticket I need to get in that audition room. It's a crap shoot but I will keep you posted. Should I get the big O-1, we will be returning in Canada for July, then straight back here for the fall mid season replacements. Ready to conquer La La land.

Meanwhile I study, study, study (acting class) and write, write, write (my screenplay) - and everywhere I look, everybody is doing pretty much the same thing. How am I different? How will I rise above the fray? Well friends, it is called total blissful naivety or "beginners luck" in layman's terms. I believe beginners luck is not really luck but a real phenomenon - a graceful state where our cynical mind has not yet learned to habitually attack itself. There is a grace period where we still believe in possibility, in the dream - that sheer desire is enough. And so we believe, so does the universe and that is where the magic can happen. We are not Americans. We are not jaded. We are not buying into the terrible self deprecating, nation deflating psychosis that is striking American with a vengeance today. These poor folk, once on top of the world are feeling beaten. First to terrorism, next to the surprising awakening that the world thinks they are mean and stupid, and finally to the terrible reality of devastating recession. And now, health care. God forbid, health care! What next? Free dental? (let's not get too crazy here - even Canadians don't believe in that).

Anyway, don't get me stared on health care and tea parties...

Campbell and I went to our first LA "Mastery" workshop (the infamous self expression workshop I co-lead in Vancouver) where he got a chance to "rebirth" Americans and I got a chance to experience "back row" Dan Fauci style. Dan, the maverick Mastery creator does things very differently down here and one has to be on one's toes at all times. Must check ego at door.

Anyway, several of the participants happened to be stand up comics and they told me about a great class they did to get started - 10 weeks and then you do a showcase at the legendary Laugh Factory on Sunset Blvd. Something happened and I got the bug. Maybe it was Dan's incessant reminder that we have to constantly challenge ourselves and "get out a yer comfort zone" , maybe it was Larry's orange sweater vest - I don't know, but I know I have to do that class and do my five minutes of stand up or die!

Meanwhile, while we were hanging with Dan, Larry & co, J was at Sister Giant, Marianne Williamson's seminar on 3rd world child poverty for spiritual people. Turns out J caught a car pool with Calamity Jane from Deadwood - one of our favorite actors and now they are buds.

Last weekend we were honoured to be part of the legendary Gilman sader. Larry's festive passover dinner is like no other I have ever been to. And totally Hollywood! There were about 40 of us sitting at 6 different tables and I think everyone was in show biz in some capacity. Some of the service, which Larry conducted with a great mix of solemnity and humour, included revised show tunes - like "There's no sader like our sader..." (no biz like show biz) and ... We found ourselves sitting with a six time Grammy winner, a broadway star, a big time theatre director, an academy award nominee for best supporting actor and star of a hit TV series from the seventies. So talk about great connections - and to be a Jew - this is how it works in LA - we are so connected now.

More on the Ben Kingsley mystery. I finally saw the Prius pull in and waited with bated breath to finally meet Sir Ben. But the man who emerged was not Sir Ben. He was a short funny looking chap - who I assume to be Mr. HR - the name on the apartment directory and the Prius's license plate. Ben's rommie? Friend? Lover? We asked another neighbour - did you know BK lived here? Oh yes, he said, sure. Have you ever seen him? Oh no. In any case, we saw Shutter Island, just in case we run into him so we have something to talk about.

Our first musical show - was weird. Only 3 of our most dedicated friends showed up for us - Patrick, Yani and J's new friend Robin. The place was empty except for the odd family of the guy who went first (his brother-in-law had the biggest mohawk you've ever seen). The show opener really brought the house down (I mean literally) with his depressing sad songs and his out of tune Epiphone electric. But what are you going to do? on we went and J gave it her all. At least folks were attentive. By the time I got on the stage the place has filled up with a bunch of rowdies there to see the next guy. There were so rude, making a racket and ignoring me. Even when I yelled at them - "Hey, you guys in the back got to listen to this next song, you'll love it!" they quieted down for 5 seconds and then started again. When we left Patrick, sporting a CBC t-shirt, gave them a piece of his mind. "So now you're quiet when your guy goes on." Those who heard him were shocked and sort of tickled. One of them said, "Hey the coach from Glee just chewed us out! Cool."

But fear not, we have a show booked for next month in the valley and I believe it will be well attended. Much of my acting class will show up as well as some of our new friends from the seder - including the 6 time Grammy winner.

Well good news. Starbucks has allowed guns into their coffee shops - only if they
are holstered and concealed. Whew. That makes me feel safe.

J and I started the South Beach Diet. After only 3 weeks we have lost 25 pounds between the two of us! (just kidding). More like 20. Come on folks - the warm beach weather is here and we have to be in shape just in case we are discovered. So we have cut out the fat free frozen yogurt and the mole tacos and locked ourselves inside during happy hour (daily 5-8).

There is much more but this is enough for now. I will try to be more diligent in my blogging and keep you all posted. Never a dull moment here, you can be assured of that. And the weather is fantastic. Did I mention that?

Out for now,

Eh in LA