Sexy Beast in the Building

Well it is February and the sun has come out full force. Sad as I am to be missing the big party in Vancouver, I can't help gloat about the stellar weather here. There is no Olympic fever here, that's for sure. Lot of folks aren't even aware it's going on, let alone sure where Vancouver is located. "That's in Canada isn't it? Near that french place - Quebec?" I know this because I quiz the workers at the stores and coffee shops all the time. In the papers, the stories have mainly been about the security risks and the luge tragedy and how much NBC is losing by broadcasting the games.

Yes, Ben is in the building. We have got if from a reliable neighbour that the Sir indeed lives here. We know which apartment. We know his parking space, which up until recently has been empty. Then a car appeared in it, right in sinc with the release of "Shutter Island". We see his Prius everyday, sometimes in its spot, sometimes not. Sometimes he parks rear to front, sometimes front to rear. Still, we have not run into Ben. Only a matter of time though. I am just so afraid of mumbling something unintelligible and ruining my chances of becoming his new buddy.

We have begun the open mic circuit and wow- let me tell you Vancouver, you guys should be very, very proud of your talent. These open mics are more like circus shows - weird talent and even weirder rooms. The dingy Kabbitz room is a cavern like watering hole stuck beside a Jewish deli. It's a dive but they are famous for giving triple drinks for only five bucks. Another, the Rainbow Room has a big pit below and a small opening that looks up to the main floor. So you have to kind of bend your neck to see the musicians. The wanna be stand up comics, come up closer - which is too close for comfort usually. Upstairs there's a dark loft where the Rolling Stones and other rock and roll hall of famers once did drugs and other nasty things - according to Joey the door guy, who's been there for 25 years and seen it all. Maybe rock and roll will never die but it looks like it's about 90 years old up on the inglorious sunset strip.

We went there to observe an open mic night and decided it was low key enough for us to do our first appearance there the following week. Monday came and we were determined to go, even though I had a cold. Knew we had to break the ice. With good friend Richard visiting from Vancouver, we trudged up the hill to Sunset, Gibson in hand, walking past all the grungy clubs, some you may have heard of: "The Viper Room", "Whiskey a Go Go" - and on to the Rainbow where we suffered, and I mean really suffered through two hours of mostly awful entertainment. When it was finally our turn, there were only a handful of drunk regulars there. There was almost no response from them. J sang a very solid "Mistaken" and I played - I don't know why - "I Want to Be the Pope" and "Fall Girl". We left right after, feeling good that we'd given it our all and had one under our belt.

Next day, while waiting to go into the "Backdraft" set at Universal Studios Theme Park, Judith got a call. The promoter from the Rainbow wanted to know if we would play a show at one of their venues! LA weird.

Thursday at Barbara Deutch - entertainment coach: I have to sell myself more. Tell people about my accomplishments. I am not just another wanabee and people here are impressed by anyone who has gotten beyond the dream to something remotely tangible. So okay, I will brag more. Even though it makes me feel really, really uncomfortable. So Canadian, I know..

Celebrity sightings: Well poor Richard, here for a week and by his last day he still hadn't seen one celeb. We were on our way home from Santa Monica, stopped at a light when Richard, from the back seat says: "Isn't that Swartzenager?"I looked to the black Van next to us and sure enough, Arnold is sitting in the passenger seat, his head lowered, deep in gubernatorial thought. Couldn't bare to honk the horn and wave. Seeing Arnold in a real moment was enough of a thrill. Good score Richard!

Something I have learned: There is a local mental disease they call Hollywood NOS or "HOS". This is a made up designation based on the non specified disorder NOS from the DSM IV - the manual psychiatrists use to diagnose mental illnesses. People with HOS are obsessed with "making it" or becoming a celebrity or rubbing shoulders with celebrities or in any way climbing the various ladders of power in the entertainment biz. These people are either actively in their addiction or recovering from it. Those inside it work tirelessly, sleep little, party way too hard and only speak to people who are "useful" or "somebody" who can help them become more famous or powerful in Hollywood. Of course it's all an illusion and there is no end game for these poor saps who's world eventually comes crashing down. Most of them end up becoming alcoholics or drug addicts or if they are lucky, in rehab.

So just a friendly reminder to myself: If you play the game, don't forget it's just a game.

I think that will be it for now. Campbell is coming back for a week so there should be more funny stuff on the way. This weekend I participate in my first LA Mastery workshop and get to watch founder Dan Fauci do his thing while J goes to Marianne Williamson's "Sister Giant" seminar with 500 other women hell bent on changing themselves and child poverty. Man - are we going to be powerful by the end of the weekend. Look out LA!